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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25767154">Bad Decisions</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiny_increments/pseuds/tiny_increments'>tiny_increments</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bodily Functions, Is it porn or is it slapstick comedy?, M/M, Rimming, drunk!sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2009-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2009-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:01:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,388</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25767154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiny_increments/pseuds/tiny_increments</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shit happens when you party naked. Especially when you party naked with Jim Kirk.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk &amp; Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bad Decisions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddegg/gifts">oddegg</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for a ST kink meme prompt:</p><p>Drunk guy #1: Don't take this the wrong way, but I really want to take you home tonight.<br/>Drunk guy #2: How am I supposed to take that?<br/>Drunk guy #1, seriously: In the ass.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He didn't make mistakes. Meticulous, careful, and alert were three words most people would use to describe Leonard McCoy, even those who knew the details of his divorce (it was all that bitch's fault). Responsible was a fourth. Bad decisions, especially when they came to sex, were something unheard of from him.<br/><br/>Then Jim Kirk came along, and confused the doctor in more ways than one.<br/><br/>"I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, Bones," Jim slurred so it came out more like, "Ah ree 'ope oo dun dage dis a 'ong 'ay, Buns," Jim's hand finding his friends bicep and latching on. "But I really, <em>really</em> want to take you home tonight."<br/><br/>Bones laughed, a hearty, drunken (but not as drunk as Jim) laugh, and chugged the last of his bottle. "You wanna take me home?" He summoned the barkeep and ordered another beer for himself and three waters for Jim, still laughing. "You, Jim Kirk, wanna take <em>me</em> home?" Jim's eyes looked like those of a puppy dog, his pout even more pronounced now that he was on the verge of throwing up. Bones watched him slowly nod his head, realizing that, despite a blood-alcohol content of around .20, Jim was being completely serious.<br/><br/>"Don't take it the wrong way ... " Jim's hand crept up Bones's thigh.<br/><br/>"How <em>am</em> I supposed to take it, then?" Bones yelled, pushing Jim away. He knew all about Jim's "equal opportunity" philosophy, but he wanted no part of it. He was married, for Christ's sake! He had a daughter! He was <em>not</em> having sex with Jim Kirk. Ever.<br/><br/>"In the ass." Jim was practically straddling Bones's lap by that point, using the bar to keep himself from collapsing, the men's lips only millimeters apart. So caught up in his thoughts, he thought Jim's comment was a bit non sequitur. He tried replaying their conversation, trying to figure out what the hell Jim was trying to say, but <em>damn</em>. He'd drunk more than he thought. Jim's scent was overpowering his senses, the warmth of his breath giving him weird sensations, the pressure of Jim's body against his rendering all other thoughts useless.<br/><br/>"Jim, I," He tried pushing him away, but either Jim was too strong or Bones too weak. Their lips collided, sloppy, wet tongues reaching out into each other's alcohol-laden mouths. They kissed for what felt like minutes, breaking apart when they could no longer breathe. "Jim, I -- " Trying to catch his breath, Bones found his hand unwittingly groping Jim's balls.<br/><br/>"I'm taking you home," Jim stated, slapping his card on the bar. His eyes bore into Bones as he downed the rest of the doctor's beer and lazily undid another button of his shirt, making Bones wonder if Jim was just <em>playing</em> drunk this whole time.<br/><br/>That bastard.<br/><br/>---<br/><br/>Walking back to McCoy's dorm, they just looked like two guys who had had too much to drink. Their arms were slung around each other for what could have easily been mistaken as support. Only <em>they</em>knew the eroticism of their actions. Jim's hand dipped below the waistband of Bones's jeans, his fingers tickling the sensitive spot where leg, abdomen, and groin met, while Bones's arm was slung around Jim's neck, his hand occasionally brushing Jim's nipples through his shirt.<br/><br/>At the door, Bones tried entering his access code, the alcohol not helping his recollection. Jim standing close behind him, both hands on Bones's hips, pressing his cock into his ass didn't help, either.<br/><br/>"Damnit, Jim, I -- " Bones started, the whooshing of the opening door cutting off his thought prematurely. Jim winked and bounded to the elevator, grabbing it just as a few other cadets were getting off.<br/><br/>The doors closed, Jim pressed the emergency stop, and within seconds, Bones's cock was in Jim's mouth, the man sucking it better than it'd ever been sucked before. He wanted to come, he really did, but the shots and the beer were making it impossible for him to be any more than half-hard.<br/><br/>"Jim, I -- " He felt like he was saying that a lot. He pushed his friend off his dick and there were Jim's puppy-dog eyes again. Bones pulled him up, throwing him against the other side of the elevator and kissing him. Hard. He plunged his hand into Jim's pants, finding out that Jim was, indeed, just as drunk as him. At least, that's what he hoped. He may not be gay, but he still wanted Jim to find him hot.<br/><br/>Bones reached under Jim's balls (man literally had some big balls) and found his anus, slowly pressing his middle finger into him.<br/><br/>"Mmmnng," Jim moaned, his head falling onto Bones's shoulder. "Room," he sleepily demanded, releasing the emergency stop and attempting to put Bones back in his pants, all while his head was still buried in Bones's shoulder. They stumbled out onto McCoy's floor, lucky that no one was there to see them in their state of undress.<br/><br/>"Shit!" Bones whispered, trying to find his room key. Why Starfleet continued to use manual locks, Bones didn't know, but he was fucking pissed about it right then. Jim sloppily kissed Bones's neck, tangling his hand in his short dark hair, snaking the other hand down Bones's pants again.<br/><br/>"I fuckin' love you," Jim rasped, biting Bones's ear.<br/><br/>"Jim, just shut the fuck up for a minute, okay?" Bones shoved Jim off, letting him slide down the wall until he was sitting, his pants undone and his shirt open past social acceptability. "I can't find my fucking key." Jim dug in one of his pockets, producing the piece of metal. Summoning all his energy and concentration, he knelt up, put the key in the hole and twisted the lock, halfway falling into the room as the door opened. Bones pushed him inside, locking the door behind himself and throwing the key on his desk.<br/><br/>"Wait, wait, wait!" Jim scrambled up, the vertigo from standing almost making him fall back down again.<br/><br/>"God, you are so drunk," Bones laughed, falling back onto his futon, which faced the rest of the room.<br/><br/>"Ssshhh!!!!" Jim pressed a finger to his lips, still looking a little dizzy. Bones did as Jim said, waiting for sleep to overtake both of them. But Jim just stood there, in the middle of the room, staring blankly at the drywall. Bones raised an eyebrow, temporarily forgetting what the symptoms of alcohol poisoning were and hoping this wasn't one of them, until Jim reanimated, pulling his shirt over his head and dropping his pants. He fell onto Bones's bed, grabbing his dick in the process, lazily jerking himself off. "Thanks for calling me God, by the way."<br/><br/>Bones was willing to admit that what had happened up to this point may not have been <em>completely</em> due to the booze; that maybe those really were feelings they had for each other, just ones that were buried deep, deep, <em>deep</em> down. What happened next though, Bones blames wholly and entirely on the alcohol.<br/><br/>He got up from the futon, taking off his own shirt and touching his own cock, just to acknowledge its arousal. Squatting in front of his twin bed, he seized Jim's legs at the knees, pushing them up towards Jim's upper half, exposing his tight little hole. It wasn't pretty, but Bones didn't expect it to be. In fact, he was pretty pleased that it wasn't. Now he knew that not <em>everything</em> about Jim Kirk was perfect.<br/><br/>He kissed his ass-cheeks, licking them for the soapy-salty taste that was Jim, before running his tongue over that imperfect, unattractive asshole. Jim's cock and balls were pressed against his forehead which turned Bones on even more, much to his surprise.<br/><br/>He remembered licking The Ex this way (except not her ass) and ventured using the same moves. After all, that was the only way <em>she</em> ever came for him. He nuzzled the bridge of his nose against Jim's balls, dipping his tongue delicately into the hole. Jim's legs, still being held up by Bones, twitched and his hips bucked and his breath caught in his throat, provoking Bones to continue until he passed out between Jim's legs.<br/><br/>He woke up with his nose still in Jim's ass and in a pool of Jim's piss.<br/><br/>God, he fucking hated that kid sometimes.</p>
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